Monday, March 22, 2010

Snow in Texas and other updates

Reposted here for update:

You'd think with Friday being a pleasant 70 degrees and Saturday the first official day of spring we wouldn't get 5" if snow on Sunday. What crazy weather.

My wife and I are building a fence for our [future] horses. It has been a fun process and the church is coming to help us dig all the post holes on Saturday. My wife has been getting more involved with the church as the missionaries have been visiting her regularly. We were fortunately blessed with sister missionaries who aren't afraid of my wife's snake.

I am still looking for another job as currently I am underemployed a the game store I work at. The newest opportunity I had the pleasure of interviewing at is my wife's company working as an HR representative. Were I to get the job, she and I could carpool and *gasp* actually SEE each other more than 2 days a week (right now we have opposite schedules). It is also about double the pay I make now. I have all of the qualifications so I should be okay, but then again, I've been turned down for easier jobs this past year.

That day of the awaited interview (last Thursday) I got a flat tire on the highway on the way there - fortunately they were able to reschedule the interview as I would have been 15 minutes late. The interview itself went amazing - all 1.5 hours of it. I figured the long interview meant it probably went better than worse because who wants to waste an hour and a half interviewing someone you don't like. I hope to hear back next week.

In the end if I get this job, it will mean my wife and I will be able to move forward having children. We have a doctor's appointment next Monday to find out what is left to do to start the artificial insemination process (cause as you all know, I am quite sterile).

Last week was SO busy I got off of my GID-prevention regimen which was a bad thing. It wasn't 3 or 4 days I was off of it that the feelings started to get at me - especially while my friends and I were at the Muse concert (they were great BTW). It ended with me by the end of the night in tears cursing my body and pleading why did I have to be born wrong!

Because I don't think you all know what my GID-prevention regimen is, I'll tell you. Since a lot of my GID triggers involve my body, I have to make sure not to let myself go. Even if I'm feeling alright, going a few days without doing what I can to keep it from going too "male" can make it really hard to get out of a depressive episode later if GID strikes. Once I'm depressed it is a vicious cycle - all I see is the terrible man in the mirror which makes me hopeless which makes me ickier and ickier, which makes the depression worse.

So to keep GID at bay, I stay focused on the fact I am not going to be the male-type-person I have been in the past, but be myself. I get up, read my scriptures for 15 minutes, say my morning prayers, work out on Dance Dance Revolution for 20 minutes, get showered up, SHAVE regardless of growth, do my hair complete with product (andro styles), shape and clean up my eye brows (if they get a little ratty), and dress nicely - normally something also andro. It takes me an hour and a half to two hours each day. It might seem a bit much, but when I keep up this routine, I barely feel more than a buzz of my GID throughout the day and into the night.

I also try to stay focused on a period of release or a goal. For instance, some MTF with GID will dress on their own or under their clothes to help stave off the effects. As we have discussed in the past, this has never worked for me. I must be perceived AS a girl or at least NOT as a guy to receive real relief. As you can imagine, with a regular job and such, this doesn't happen very often. I have to look for opportunities when it can. Coming up in June there will be a convention in Dallas. I plan to be ready to go full andro to this convention. I don't intend to try to pass as a girl or anything, but definitely in between. There will be a concert and dance there and I'm ecstatic. I love to dance, but I tend to dance like a girl, so being andro will help that a bit - plus I can dance with ANYONE!

Sorry I've been so absent! My world has been so busy of late!