1) I have found out what specific triggers there are for my GID, and using learning-behavior techniques, have taught myself to no longer associate those stimuli with GID thoughts, but with more neutral ones.
2) I have done my best to focus on the things in my life that I have, rather than the things in my life I don't have.
3) I have learned that depression and other negative mental states provoke my GID and the GID persists long after the depressive stimulus is removed. Thus, I do my best to control and prevent depression and drama in my life.
4) I have learned never, never, never to pretend my GID doesn't exist. Doing so, even in periods where it is not bothering me as much, always stimulates the return of symptoms and they are normally far worse.
5) This goes along with #4, but I don't try to be anything I'm not. I stopped playing "roles" for other people. The roles invariably caused me difficulty as I often tried to appear as "masculine" as I could muster.
6) I am open with others about my condition. Being open with others allows for greater authenticity in the relationship and less tendency to want to meet their expectations of me as a male.
7) I have several very close friends (including my wife) with whom I can speak to at any time when I start to feel the symptoms come on. They all know me and my struggles and are there when needed - fortunately I'm relying on them less and less.
8) I think of all that I'd lose if I were to transition again and the pain it would bring about.
9) I present myself more androgynously in that I don't try to dress stereotypically for my sex - this prevents me from going into a role that is not conducive with my inner self.
I am experimenting with more techniques right now. I will tell you if they work and add them to my growing list.
Others that are dealing with this the same way I am have learned some of their own coping techniques but I have not listed the ones that don't also work for me. For some that is part-time living, or dressing up and going out occasionally.
Posts
I have lived with Gid for more than 70 years. The turning point was my doctor who took time to learn and treat me with love and some meds. Now it seems to be manageable.But sometimes are stressful that is when I have to count the losses and work through it with a distraction to over come the urges. Would I wish for be free from GID.......... NEVER...........it has to be part of me and it teachs lessons that helps my understanding of how life really can effect you and others.
ReplyDeleteI would add: focus on identifying with your body as an integral part of yourself rather than seeing yourself as living in a body.
ReplyDeleteIt is a varient on #2 kind of, but i think it's a distinctly different angle. I think identifying with the body as self is the distinguishing factor between someone who can cope with GID with psychology and socially and someone who needs surgery to cope.
Angel
That is an interesting idea. I think many TS develop poor associations with their body, or in other words, their body becomes a trigger. Essentially what you are saying is, de-trigger the body by making cognitive associations with something else. We should discuss this more. Email me at gidinteralia@gmail.com.
ReplyDelete1. If possible move to a community with less strict gender roles. Different cultures and subcultures vary a lot in their ideas on gender. Try changing city, profession, school, church (not necessarily religion but maybe try a different congregation), or all of the above. Either try to remove the worst place you feel you cannot be yourself (e.g. profession) or find a new safe place as an outlet. Make some new friends, find a sub-culture scene which is a bit artsy or eccentric etc. but don't lose touch with your family.
ReplyDelete2. Focus on identifying with your physical self, don't disown your body. It is not just part of you or something you are in it IS you. (not sure what you think of souls, but for me i like materialism to the max!)
3. Keep an integrated self. Safe outlets are fun, but don't loose touch with reality. You can have a drag persona, but the personality of that persona is part of you not another self... etc... i'm vague on this, but does it make sense. Play is fun, but reality is a good grounding. don't dissociate from your other self.
4. Don't assign a gender to your flaws and aspirations. Try to think people of both genders who share them. e.g. don't think "i can't do this because of my biological gender" think of what the specific problem is, particularly - if having toruble - try to think of someone of the opposite gender who shares your difficulty or someone from your biological gender who can do it.
5. Remember how diverse humanity is! humans are really not very sexually dimorphic.